Sunday, January 07, 2007

The Sock I Hate


There was a post a couple of weeks ago where I mentioned I was taking some time off and would be starting a new job soon. Well, the new job starts tomorrow and I feel like I'm ready and rested and excited but I do have to say the two weeks off ended up being like nothing I expected. My mom's back surgery was last Friday and it went ok. We're hoping that we're now through the woods and after some much needed rest and recovery she's going to start feeling somewhat like her original self. Unfortunately, most of the time (and most of my two weeks off) leading up to the surgery were pretty hectic and scary and disastrous all at once. The tests my mom had to have before the surgery raised some suspicions. Which meant more tests were needed. A lot. And the tests have now keyed us into a lung issue which may or may not be turning into a heart issue. When the doctors start talking about lungs and hearts and abnormalities things can get really scary really fast. However, we made it through the tests and it looks like they've ruled out some of the super-bad stuff. For now she's ok, they cleared her for this surgery which was the most pressing thing, and the other issues will have to be dealt with in the future. We're just going to have to wait and see how things go.

But what does this have to do with knitting? Well, let me tell ya, it seems I've had nothing but knitting time lately. Knitting time-the stuff of dreams right? Or so I thought. People, if you're going to get knitting time, you know, well, this is not the way you want to get it. Yes, waiting for someone to have a stress test for their heart will take on average 3 to 5 hours. But the whole time I couldn't help but think it was like a stress test for my heart too! So this little sock has been my sitting in the waiting room for several days sock. And as I sat and waited and knit and waited all I could think most of the time was "Geez, I think I hate this sock."

At first I didn't realize why. It's an ok sock. Toe up, stockinette, the basic stuff. I haven't mastered the toe-up stuff enough yet to eliminate some big holes at the heels but still, it's functional as socks go. And cute, this is my first time using striping yarn like this and I do have to admit it's pretty neat.

But it didn't take very long to realize the problem. I know I'll always associate this sock with worrying about someone I love. And sitting for hours not knowing what's going on down the hall. And waiting for test results. And calling and waiting and not knowing any more than you did and hour ago and calling again and knitting and waiting. And dealing with bitchy nurses, who I know have a really, really tough job, and yes, the majority of them are very nice but when you meet enough of them, well I guess we've just met some real winners this week.

It was funny last night though as I was sitting with my mom knitting this sock I took a minute and tried it on. It fits ok. As we've gotten some more info lately and got through this surgery the hysteria from last week has subsided and of course simultaneously I'm starting to make my peace with the sock. My mom thought it was cute but I said I didn't really like it. And she said, "Really? Who's it for? If you don't want them I'll take them, I wear a lot of brown you know."

How funny would it be if I made my peace with the socks by giving them to my mom? Maybe that would work. I'm not sure, I sized them for me and I have much larger feet than she does. Who knows, I think I'm just going to have to keep going with the socks and let them tell me what's meant to happen with them. In the meantime I've started the Fair Isle section of the Main St. Pullover. Three colors at a time believe it or not. Makes starting the new job tomorrow seem like cake right? You never know...



9 comments:

Jodi said...

That sounds like a rough couple of weeks, Jana. I hope that your mother's recovery goes well, and that those socks will work for her! Good luck with the new job AND the fair isle. Hey, challenges are good for us and make us stronger, right? That's what I'm hoping.

lobstah said...

(Hugs) It sounds like you've been dealing with some scary stuff. I think giving your mom the socks sounds like a really cool idea but I guess only if they fit her, right?

sunneshine said...

Good luck with the new job today! I hope it went really well! I'll be sending some positive energy your way - family health issues are so scary. At least your mom lives close!As for the sock, I think you are right it will work itself out - in the end it could be the most memorable pair of socks you ever make! Have a good week!

Kari said...

Good luck on the new job. And hope your mom recovers quickly from the surgery. Maybe you could have your mom try on the socks, that is a good idea to give them to her...unless they just really won't fit her.
Oohh...three colors at the same time for the fair isle. I've only knitted with two colors at a time, i think i'd get a bit tangled up with three. :-)

Say said...

I hope everything with your mom goes okay and that she recovers quickly. Honestly, it sounds like those socks are meant for her. I've been to the ER twice with my husband (nothing horribly serious), and both times I knit frantically because I couldn't stop, but I hated doing it and wanted to stop.

Good luck with your new job.

Chris said...

Oh Jana, maybe these socks should be the socks of strength. You just have to look at the situation differently...instead of looking at the socks and thinking "I hate these socks - they remind me of that really difficult time in my life" you should look at them as the socks that you made while loving and supporting your mother during a difficult time for her. Eveytime you wear them think of how lucky you are to have her in your life, and make them your reward for being such a wonderful daughter! Love the socks!! xoxo

Tracy said...

Ah man, Chris beat me to it! I was going to tell you that they're your lucky socks too! I've done my share of hospital knitting and it is one of those truly guilty pleasures. You knit to keep your mind calm and to pass the time but you feel weird making something to enjoy during a terrible time like that. If you give them to your mom great, but I think you should keep them as comfort socks and look at them as good luck charms. Prayer socks if you will :-)

Dorothy said...

I'll say a prayer for you and your Mother. I hope her recovery goes well and quickly and any other issues turn out to be minor and heal as well.

Best of luck with the new job.

Emily said...

You know, I bet you're right about giving the socks to your Mom. You've put energy in there for her after all, it seems like she should have them. Even if they don't fit she can always give them back - they curse would still be broken.

Good luck with your new job!