Thursday, March 02, 2006

Worst Secret Pal contest

I suppose it started innocently enough. On the Secret Pal Seven home page Erin saw one day where the hostesses had posted about the Best Secret Pal Contest. She also noticed that someone had posted a mean comment asking if they could nominate someone for the Worst Secret Pal. Being the wonderful purveyors of etiquette that they are the hostesses wisely whisked the mean comment away and replaced it with something much, much nicer. (Note SP7 hostess Erin on that page should not be confused with our Erin.) So being the sarcastic, snarky Jersey girls we can be, Erin and Tracy and our friends and I one night at knitting had a way hilarious discussion of what could this poor soul have received in the mail that made them make that comment? Well, I laughed and laughed and innocently enough went home that night. Never really thinking much of the conversation again.

You know how it's just not a good thing to get drunk and pass out around your friends if there are magic markers laying around? Or when you were 12 and went to slumber parties maybe they froze your bra when you were sleeping? Yep, night after night I was just sleeping away...

Well, lets just say the week after that I missed that knitting group to go to the other group that I go to once a month. Although I'm sure I was in the girls thoughts. Because what happened?

Well remember the two great packages from my secret pal last weekend? Well guess which one is actually not from her?

Yup. That would be the big box of Fun Fur with the mixed tape that really looked a lot like it had just been found on the street somewhere. (The music on there is actually pretty decent, but really Erin did you find this in a motel???)

And moron me of course, did it ever occur to me that "Hey? One of these doesn't have any postage on it????'' Of course, nope!


I began to realize something was up when I then got these crappy gifts in the mail from Tracy (another package mysteriously marked 'secret pal') yesterday.

Oh man! Where do you people shop? Let's start with the not so bad stuff. The box that says 100 cats is a box of crayons, presumably to go with the Hello Kitty Coloring book (gimmie a break, you know how old I'm turning my next birthday) and the not-so-bad post-its. Those things are like, ok well, whatever. Then we move on to the Smiley face hairbrush... The crappy yarn that looks like it's like 100 years old (boy I'm using the word crappy in this post a lot) and then the candy. French Chewy Taffy. MMM MMM! I guess I get that for my comments about candy abuse. Sigh...Then there's that round thing above the taffy. That's a pretty pretty mirror covered in smiley faces! (I can just see myself whipping this out of the briefcase in the middle of a meeting.) And of course, nothing, just nothing can avert your eyes from the worst thing in this package...

Toilet tunes.

Yes, somewhere in this godforsaken world a "toy" manufacturer actually came up with this horrible idea and went far enough to actually have the product made. According to the package, it appears to be some kind of 'toilet' filled with 'goop' that when you push on it makes disgusting bathroom noises.

What the hell????

What kind of store would sell such a thing? I really hope you had your pepper spray on you when you went in the store to buy this. Have you noticed it's still in the package? That's because I'm AFRAID of it. It's existence is just disturbing enough for me, I really don't need to know what it's like inside. Not yet anyway... Maybe when the night sweats go away...

Anyway, I would just like to note on the bright side my real secret pal has been an absolute gem about all this. Besides sending me the really good package the other day filled with things that I actually like I am also extremely thankful that she seems to see this humor in this whole charade. As for my Jersey knitter friends... Just wait- you know what they say about payback... There are Fun Fur accessories in your future....


Say said...

Thank you for making me sit here and laugh my behind off for the last two minutes!!!!

What great friends you have!

Necia said...

OMG, they got you soooooooooo good. I had to go back a few posts to get the gist, but get it I did. What's even funnier is how, you're originally thanking your pal for the fun fur. Your tone had so much sugar laced in there. LMFAO. You better watch out, cause it's not even April yet.


Tracy said...

Hey man, when I told you I had a stock pile of crappy yarn at home you should have believed me! (fyi, the white stuff was from the goody bags Chris and I got at the superbowl sale.)
And who knows, the taffy might be good, I haven't tried it yet.
I'm just so glad you have a great sense of humor and that you vow to not get us back in any way, shape or form, how good of you!
And to your real SP, sorry for any confusion we may have caused, there was no way to keep you in the loop without spilling the beans!

Lastly, you might want to get rid of the pic's with your address. You think the toilet tunes were bad? I don't what any weirdo's sending you some real poop in a box and stealing our thunder ;-)

Karin said...

OMG that is SO FUNNY!!! I remember when I first read your post--I was like, "wow she really handled getting some crappy fun fur well!" That's great!

EK said...

Remember how when I posted pictures of my stash? Even I have some pride and left the fun fur out. It seems that everyone has some stuff that's not so good in their stash. Unfortunately both boxes were there on the same day, and there was no way to let anyone else know without giving it away. But Jana gives us way too much credit, as you can see there is no return address on the package. I thought Jana would bust us right away and only post the real package from the real SP, apologies for any confusion!